- Or how to become the dwarf you´ve always wanted to be. -
1. Be gruff.
2. Be proud of your size. Never wear high heels unless you need to peak over a wall out of strategic (or voyeuristic) reasons.
3. Eat. A lot. Never refuse an invitation to dinner.
4. Spill as much of your ale as possible while drinking.
5. Avoid silly songs.
6. Look into the distance, if convenient. If inconvenient look anyways.
7. Unless it would kill you. Obviously.
8. Wear dead animals´ skins and furs. Eat the rest. A dwarf does not join PETA. Nor does he become vegetarian. Or even vegan (for he´s not an elf).
9. Avoid elves. They´re sparkly and hug trees. And ride moose.
10. Imitate your pony´s latest hairstyle.
11. If you have the chance to let your hair flow in the wind, do so.
12. Never cut your beard unless you´re in mourning.
13. When you´re in battle, keep your weapons in the best possible shape.
14. Beards extensions are a big no-go. A proudly worn growing beard is more honourable than a cowardly di